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ďNormal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."
--Morticia Addams

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updated 7/13

7/13/20

It's been a while, and I'm unmotivated to update (obviously), so...Read it over the next few days. Lots of piled-up links and vids at the end.

      "You wanna squirt?"
      Not a phrase one normally hears in public, or private, so I was confused. It was at the local April booksale, being held in July, and it was said by an ancient man by the door with hand sanitizer. Later on I heard one of other retirees say "Squirter?! Where's our squirter?!" followed by "He's on break!" If he was a teenage boy, he'd probably use his break to squirt.
      I bought 1 book, a slab by the Uncle John's reader series about history ($1), and 9 CDs for 50c each. My total was $6, so, as usual, I was overcharged. These old ladies can't do the new math. I didn't care, obviously. Not that you care, but the prize scores were Greatest Hits collections by Massive Attack, which sounds like a metal group but are actually electronica produced by a Mr Eno, and the Four Tops. I had to think "Didn't I grab this from the library?" before I realized that I don't have "Sugar Pie Honeybunch" or "Bernadette." The latter is a song about how much it sucks to have a smokin' hot girlfriend. I've only been mistaken as a guy with one when I'm with Jessica, and all I can say it doesn't suck, but sometimes other's reactions can get weird.

      I've read A Word a Day for at least 20 years. It's as advertised, a word a day usually with a week-long theme, with a pithy quote at the end, and a very liberal attitude.
      Last week started with redshirt, which is not what you immediately thought. "A college athlete who practices with the team, but does not take part in official games." I responded with, of course:

And I got Email of the Week! The prize is a word-based party game, that will likely never see use, as I don't go to parties and the sample questions were hard--I guess, I saw the page yesterday but can't find it today--included "What's the Third Amendment?" I mean, I got it after some pondering (it involves the word "billeting"), but some of the others I was baffled by.

      Anatomy Of A COVID-19 Conspiracy Theory. I commented:

      I was stocking at work when a Black kid, grade 2.5 or whenever they start to read, pointed and yelled to his parents "I see OBAMA!" They looked around and said "Really? Where?" and he pointed at the On-Cor frozen lasagna. I exchanged amused looks with his parents and finished what I was doing. By then he had the lasagna in his hands, and his father said "Now you only want to eat what Garfield eats?!" It was cute, is my only point.

      Really Expensive Accidents And Mistakes

      Ways To Stay Motivated In This Shit-Shellacked Era Of Epic Stupid

      Saying Aliens Built Ancient Monuments Isn't Only Crazy, It's Racist. Back in the early 70s, the big best seller on the "non"-fiction charts was Erich von Daniken's "In Search of Ancient Astronauts." I saw a half-hour TV show about it, and if they wanted me to buy the book, it worked. A third of the way through, I was "This is the REAL TRUTH!" Two thirds through I was "This is garbage!" It was the second thing that made me a "show the science" skeptic. Forget proof, where's your evidence? His theory was that every giant monument from the Pyramids to the Nazca lines to the Easter Island heads was made by Aliens! (But not Stonehenge, that was made by white people) Every myth, legend, and religion was really some dopey native misinterpreting the Aliens! (Except the bible, that was made by white people) That's the point where I noticed the way he thought--only White People can build things without Alien aid. (Did I mention he was German, and raised in a time when the country's government was, umm, let's say "not optimal for non-racism"?
      What really ended it for me was the photo section in the middle. I don't think there were captions, just listings of what page it was referenced on. Look, here's an Aztec carving that looks like a guy in a space suit in a space capsule! One said that a carving was clearly an Apache helicopter gunship. I flipped back to look at it, and...if a little kid did it, and the kid told you it was a helicopter, just like that 3-eyed, 5-legged Cubist nightmare they scrawled was the family dog...Sure. It hit me: "So the Aliens travelled untold trillions of miles, using a technology that current physics says will not exist unless they want the trip to take millions of years, came to Earth and...flew around in helicopters? They kept helicopters in their flying saucers? 1960s American helicopters?"
      Next was what was obviously a 3 foot wide, 6 foot deep hole made when the UFO blasted off, melting a hole in the solid rock! I looked at that one, and said "That isn't melted. That was dug." And he knew exactly how the UFOs propulsion system worked, right down to the exhaust pipe? Maybe that's a thing you could share with the rest of the class. He said "And to this day, the primitive desert tribesmen of Iraq use use these as refrigerators, placing a rock cover over them to trap the cool desert night air!" Maybe because--THAT'S WHY THEY MADE THEM? I read Newsweek religiously, and I knew calling Iraq "primitive" was like saying "Here, the simple barbaric people of northern France drive the Renaults the Aliens gave them!" Never finished the book.
      My copy's long gone. But if you want to read it, 50 years later it's still in print. And also called The History Channel.

      The Strange World Of Sparks. Fans will love the interview, non-fans have a lot of videos to help them become fans.

      

      To be honest, the actor playing Dolly is not that great. They kind of rush through the last half, maybe because the reopening had begun. And if you've never seen the original,1) it will make less than no sense, and 2) what freak hasn't seen the original?! Are you some kinda FREAK, you freak?!

      

      Never thought I would tear up at a Godzilla scene.

             
      

      


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