Wednesday 1
      Don't be ashamed to be from the Midwest. It's a breeding ground for successful talk show hosts.

      Thursday 2
      Today, go into the nearest tanning salon, walk up to the counter and shout, "You are my sunshine! My only sunshine!"

      Friday 3
      A mile is 5,282 feet. That's 2,641 people standing in one straight line, foot to foot. Imagine how much blood that is.

      Saturday 4
      Um-excuse me. Your true identity is showing.

      Sunday 5
      Jerk your head back and forth and feel your uvula slap against your throat.

      Monday 6
      If you really love me, what color are my eyes?

      Tuesday 7
      Refer back to March 14th. If you have thrown that page away, buy a new calendar.

      Wednesday 8
      When the script calls for you to be praised by the leaders of a civilization you have saved, maintain an erect posture and exude humility.

      Thursday 9
      Yoo-Hoo, Hard Copy. It's me, Space Ghost. Yoo-Hoo.

      Friday 10
      Tell everyone you lost a hundred dollar bill, then go about your business and forget about it.

      Saturday 11
      Wear a surgical mask when grocery shopping.

      Sunday 12
      Remember-you are the flowers. Sidekicks and villians are the vase.

      Monday 13
      Should the movie of my life be better than the bok, or the other way around?

      Tuesday 14
      Give directions to female superheroes in left, right, up and down. Do not use North, South, East and West.

      Wednesday 15
      Use people, or simply betray a friend.

      Thursday 16
      Have a happy home. Carve your shrubs into carnival clowns.

      Friday 17

      Saturday 18
      For fun: wander the streets with a lawn sprinkler and bles fire hydrants.

      Sunday 19
      Choose the appropriate box:
      __Congratulations on your hard-earned success; or
      __I'm sorry Space Ghost. I guess mediocrity is the very best I can hope for.

      Monday 20
      Don't throw away that flannel space suit. It plays great in Seattle.

      Tuesday 21
      Today is the last day of the beginning of your life.

      Wednesday 22
      I am thankful for my ability to fly through space without having to breathe! If I didn't have this ability, the lack of air pressure would cause my body to implode. Picture it.

      Thursday 23 Thanksgiving Day
      Beware of cranberries. They will permanently stain a white spce suit. There may be some on your holiday table right now.

      Friday 24
      Boycott turkey today!

      Saturday 25
      Must...use...all...my...power. If I ever used those words it was at the urging of a whiny director.

      Sunday 26
      Guess what? You'll never get to be President of the United States. Get used to it.

      Monday 27
      Congratulations, you just won a free new life.

      Tuesday 28
      Image is not everything-gravity is. Image is number two.

      Wednesday 29
      I regret to inform you that today has been cancelled. Stop here and go to tomorrow. Sorry about that.

      Thursday 30
      December ALWAYS comes after November. No getting around that fact.

      December

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