Tuesday 1
      Ballad of a Thin Mantis-A Short Story
      It was another cold night in space. Well, there's really no night or day in space but it was cold nevertheless.

      Wednesday 2
      I was waiting for Zorak outside the Phantom Cruiser but he was late-unusually late. I called Moltar on my cellular. Still no answer. I fired up another Cohiba Corona Especiale.

      Thursday 3
      Zorak must have missed his bus. Or maybe he didn't have exact change. He never did. There was a tug-tug-tugging at my cape.

      Friday 4
      "You're up kinda late, Mr Ghostal." It was Hamish, the Space Port valet. He looked like Lorne Greene on a diet of horse pills. "Yeah, wel..." I said as I looked around. "No, not really, I mean, yeah, sure, kinda, I guess, no..."

      Saturday 5
      My sleek, modern, cruisin' baby was the only ship at the dock. "She's a beaut, there, Mr. Ghostal!" said young Hamish, breaking the silence into little pieces. I shot him a look that said "Break this, Hamish!"

      Sunday 6
      Suddenly, out of somewhere, a space cab came crashing into the dock. The driver's-side opened to reveal a small monkey slumped over the control panel. But this was no television; this was the real McCoy. LOOK at all those knobs!" I screamed to myself.

      Monday 7
      A note was stapled to the monkey's leather vest. "Happy to see Blip again?" it read. "Better watch your cape." "Yes," I said to the note, "Very happy."

      Tuesday 8
      Despite the lack of strenuous exercise, a cold sweat ran down my spine and I almost swallowed my cigar. I knew that handwriting! So blatantly cursive.

      Wednesday 9
      What I wouldn't have done for a nice snack and a sports beverage to wash it down. You run around, you look for clues, you yell at things...a guy gets hungry. It didn't matter, though, because my shoes were just as loose as before.

      Thursday 10
      All I could think of were those chilling words, "Better watch your cape...Better watch your cape..." I grabbed Blip by the fur, hid him in the cooler, and headed off into the vast darkness of night or day.

      Friday 11

      It was cold, cold, cold. I took a couple of deep breaths. That note! Those knobs! Suddenly it dawned on me-this was "reality". I took some more breaths then did the very next thing.

      Saturday 12
      I headed to Manny's Capeteria. Famous in all sectors. "Watch my cape." I said to Manny as I kicked in the door. "What's wrong, Space?" "Nothing that you'd want to know about. Just watch the cape."

      Sunday 13
      "Oh," he said, "nothing you' want me to know about." "Okay," I said as he started watching my cape. "But if you must know..."

      Monday 14
      Manny turned on me, "Look, Space Ghost, I don't really care, I'm a cape watcher, I'm a cape watcher, watching capes go by, my oh my." And twice on Tuesday?" He looked at me funny, like a savage clown. But he was caught in a lie and he knew it.

      Tuesday 15
      "So be it," he said as he picked some lint off my cuff. "Let it be," I said. "Bring it on." "Make it happen." "Take it home." "Start it up." "Whoomp," said Manny. "There it is."

      Wednesday 16
      I couldn't think of what to do next, so I sat and waited for the next mysterious event to occur. Those certain thoughts raced through my head again, like traffic. The image of little Blip...the knobs...the lint. Things were getting very saucy. Very saucy, indeed. Suddenly, a tap on my shoulder...

      Thursday 17
      It was Zorak. His vest was stained a deep, disturbing red. Burgundy, "Sorry I'm late. You'll never guess who i ran into on the way over here."

      Friday 18
      "Bonaduce?" I asked. His lime-green chitinous exoskeleton faded to a hideous eggshell-white. "How...how did you know?"

      Saturday 19
      "I'm Space Ghost," I said. "I'm smarter than you." Also, I could see that the stains on his vest were actually tiny red hairs.

      Sunday 20
      "I ran into Bonaduce on the corner hawking toaster ovens," continued Zorak. "Did ti hurt?" I asked. "And how!" he said. "First he broke my dishwasher, then he broke my heart."

      Monday 21
      Zorak's eyes glazed over. His pupils dilated, then began spinning. "Butler...in the kitchen...with a 3-wood," he said as he reached for my hand. That was a funny comedy joke, especially for Zorak.

      Tuesday 22
      "One potato, two potato...I am a Yankee Doodle Dandy." He passed out. He was really acting silly for that time of year. Was he serious, or was he just putting me on?

      Wednesday 23
      Manny's rather large hand swung through the air like Tarzan, making contact with my face and bringing me back to "reality." I pointed to the juke box in the corner. "Hank Senior and Hank Junior?" I asked him knowingly. "I got the whole family, Space," said Manny. "The whole family." "The whole family!" I said right back at him without missing a beat. I'm good that way.

      Thursday 24
      "Would you get a hold of yourself, Space Ghost!? said Manny, suggestively. You're thinking of the monkey too much!"

      Friday 25
      "You can never think of the monkey too much!" I shouted. Suddenly the room was silent. All eyes were on me. It was just like Star Search.

      Saturday 26
      I couldn't believe my outburst. I violently turned to Zorak, passed out and drooling on the floor. The room began to spin. I had to act fast.

      Sunday 27
      "Sakes alive, Manny! Fetch me some fluids!" I slapped Zorak around a little to see if I could get some green back into his cavernous cheeks. I pinched his chubby thorax.

      Monday 28
      Manny promptly filled a pitcher with ice water. SPLOOSH! That wasn't the sound of water hitting his face. It was just something Manny liked to say.

      Tuesday 29
      I grabbed the ice water and threw it on Zorak. He cleaned up real pretty. "Manny, go get my wedding dress!"

      Wednesday 30
      I held Zorak's little head up as he gasped for air and shivered with cold. "Soon, Zorak, soon we will be married."

      Thursday 31
      Boy, it was really snowing! It was lucky Zorak had those things.


      September

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