INEXPLICABLE OBJECT OF THE WEEK
Week of 12/3/00:
WEEK 138
Vaguely Quadrupedal Lifeform Cookies
Actually, the package says "Animal Crackers," but I have my doubts.
You know what would be a good folksy saying? "Why, that boy's so dumb, he cain't tell a kitten from a camel!"
So which is it? It has a camel's body, but a cat's head. Maybe it's a cat arching its back? But aren't animal crackers supposed to be lions and tigers and bears, rather than household pets?
Then again, these two really do look like cats. Two little kitties playin'! Two very, very obese little kitties. Like in the 60 to 70 pound range. Maybe they're not so much playing as trying to move their bloblike bodies across the floor to grab that last piece of Friskies Kibbles & Lard.
I'm kidding here, of course. They don't look like kitties, or any other animal seen on Earth.
Don't think that I'm grabbing crackers that were malformed in error. All the cookies look like these things
What is this one?
A bison? A razorback hog? A manatee? The Hunchback of Notre Dame, looking for a lost contact lens? If that hole is really an eye, it might be a whale fetus.
And what is with the holes? Are they supposed to be body orifices? Extra eyes or nostrils or blowholes? And why do so many of them have udders?
Here we see a donkey with the head of a rabbit, and a sheep with the head of a ball-peen hammer. Welcome to the Chernobyl Zoo!
Here they just gave up on the phylum Chordata and went with a jellyfish. Or an amoeba. Or a cloud. Or a stain on the bedsheets of a 14 year old boy.
Am I even holding this cracker the right way up?
Okay, maybe--maybe--this is an elephant.
But it's head looks like the thing that left that stain on the bedsheets.
Wait! I just figured out that amoeba thing! I was holding it the wrong way!
The year is 1985--
--and Ronald Reagan is about to french kiss George Michael!
(In case you're wondering--
I bought these at Big Lots. Maybe Jerry Van Dyke designed them)
INEXPLICABLE LINK OF THE WEEK
Thanks to Luna for the link
©2000 Bill Young