"You can't change the world, but you can fuck with its head."
--Bill Young
These aren't so much "I updated my page today by putting in a hyphen" as they are me ranting, raving, or rambling.
Choose your poison:
The Old New (5/97 to 9/97)
The tattoo one was pretty funny.
The New New (10/97-1/98)
You'll never walk into a record store again without wondering what the employees will say when you leave.
The Newest New (1/98-9/98)
Bill recycles his email, this time in Earnest. Earnest doesn't like that much.
What, you bought into that crap?? That stuff's not new! Now, THIS---THIS is NEW! (4/99-5/99)
He's lying! Don't listen to him! It's all lies, I tell you, lies!!!
What, am I supposed to write something funny here? Screw you, buster. (6/99-7/99)
What he said!
*sob*
They grow up so fast!
It seems like just yesterday it was a tiny baby New, only 4K big, all bursting with the promise of Youth!
Now it just sits on its big fat ass eating Cheetos and hogging the remote. (7/99)
*BURP*
Hey, ain't there even one fuckin channel showin Springer?!
Dumber, Stupid Human! Shawt! Shawt! (8/99)
Now begins the Kill Kill era.
Chewy Newgat Center (9/99)
Filled with creamy newey goodness, New10 really satisfies!
Fresh as New-Mown HEY! (9/99-10/99)
Will the yada yada yada ever cease?
Yada yada yada yada yada yada.... (10/99-11/99)
Evidentally not.
More Crap (11/99-12/99)
Truth in Advertising.
No More Damn Titles for these things! (12/99-1/00 )
I mean it!
Untitled Normal Page (1/00-2/00)
Nessuna Pagina Normale Di Titolo (2/00)
New 23 (6/16/00-9/25/00)
Wherein it updated a lot, then stopped updating for 2 months, then started up in renewed fervor all over again
New 2.0 (8/01-9/01)
Now begins the thoughtviper.com era
New 2.1 (9/01)
Things Fall Apart
New 2.2 (9/01-10/01)
Earth Will Abide
New 2.3 (10/01-11/01)
Like the Longines Symphonette, it doesn't rest
New 2.4 (11/01-12/01)
Why did these things start getting titles again?
New 3.1
What I Did On My Summer Vacation, 2002 Edition
New 3.6 (10/02) New 4.6 (8/03) Let's Face It, No Matter How I Number It, It's Really New 68 (1/04)
...And Byron Makes Three
New 98 (Summer 09)
Now Begins the DJ Era