Tod Holton, Super Green Beret, Part One

"Roger! My dear brother! Why didn't you tell us you were coming from Viet Nam! We would've left town two days ago! Oh! Do we have to use all these exclamation points when we talk! I guess so! It's a comic book! From the 60s!"

You guys who read the modern comic books, the ones where the hot chix get into fistfights while bouncing their 34DD spandexed hooters around, you'll be mightily disappointed with the world of Tod Holton, Super Green Beret. There are only two appearances by ANY females in this manly book, and both of them are by this mystery woman.
Since "teenager" Tod is drawn at the apparent age of 10, I figured that she must be his 15-year-old sister. But then, who's the white-haired old lecher pawing her butt? And why is her skirt caught in his zipper? Oh, God, she's Tod's MOM. She gave birth at age 5, thus explaining the hideous developmental problems we shall soon see in Tod Holton, Super Green Beret.

Dear Brother Roger is going back to Viet Nam! In two weeks! As war specialists! He's very special; he gets to be more than one specialist.
Possibly, this is a typo. But then, that would imply that the letterer is an idiot.

"OH BOY! A souvenir?! I don't have any of those! Sure, Mom (who's my sister) and Dad (who's my Grampa) have all these boxes in the basement of souvenirs, but I don't got no souvenirs, Unka Roger! They gots the bumper stickers that say 'This Car Climbed Mt. Washington,' an' they gots the carved wood Grand Canyon memo holders, an' they gots the wobbly hula girl that's they puts on the back of the Buick but it's from Detroit where they gots no hula girls, an' they gots the Three Mile Island Glow in the Dark Condoms cuz Daddy sez he don't want no more mistakes like me, an'--"



"I've only got the whole of two weeks. Shut the fuck up."

"Okay, Unka Roger!"

Please explain why Tod Holton, brother of a Green Beret, exclaims "A Green Beret, a real one!" as if he'd never seen a "real" one before.
Reread the first two panels. Maybe Roger is a "Green Beret" only when not receiving shock treatment at the asylum, and he's home for the holidays.

"Roger! My dear, crazy brother! How long before the medication wears off?"
"Two weeks, sis!"

"Tell me about all the exciting *snicker* 'battles' you were in, Unk! Did you beat up Ho Chi Minh again? *snort!* Oooh, and I'll bet the PRESIDENT gave you a magic glow-in-the-dark beret because your multiple personalities are the best war specialists they have!"

No, it's far worse than that, the story of the Beret Formerly Known As Roger's.

(Hmm...wouldn't that be a raspberry beret?)

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