Week of 12/19/99:
Christmas in December
...And I'm taking a holiday from the scanner.
This week's Xmas .gif-giving comes from our festive audience.
What says "Christmas" more than "Long boring road trip to a relative's house"?
After a few hours of "Are we there yet?" it's time for a rest stop. Lucky Daddy's friend Ken told him about that cheap place on the way.
Just don't get them the tacos. The more flatulent children have been known to spontaneously combust.
If you think your job's crappy, just think of the poor slob who has to check to make sure that the kids qualify for the free meal...
At last! We're at Grandpa Chuck O'Halifax's house!
Now, we can enjoy the true meaning of the holiday:
Ooh, Grandpa's gift feels like a video game!! Could it be Soul Calibur for your new Dreamcast?!
Could it be that Grandpa did his Xmas shopping at the flea market again?
"Grampy, what does ...'Atari' mean?"
It could be worse. He could've bought you Sumo Volleyball.
Your older cousin Kevin says he bought you a Pocket Monster!
But...Why does he have that wise-ass smirk on his face as he hands it to you?
Well, Humpy the Horny Robot sure has a monster in his pocket. The box says that he has "a wild jumping motion while wildly flailing its arms." Cousin Kevin tells you to ask Mom if that reminds her of Dad. You're not sure why, but you decide that it's better not to.
Oh no! No one said that weird Uncle Spottiswoode was going to be here!
"Mommy...Do I have to open it?"
Trembling, your fingers pull off the Episode One gift wrap...
The only thing worse than your creepy uncle giving you a Jar Jar Binks toy is him giving you a Jar Jar Binks SEX TOY!
This is the WORST Christmas EVER!!!!
Last Minute Gifts for the Hard-to-Shop-For
Inexplicable Christmas Cards
eToys is about kids having--
Objects from Previous Weeks
©1999 Bill Young