Christmas in July
Sometimes when you buy an item on closeout, you get a bargain.
Sometimes, you get a lesson in why items become closeouts.
Such is the story of my bargain-basement digital camera.
Instead of auto-focus, it has a 3-position lever of ought-to focus.
1) The sub-atomic level
2) Over 6 feet away, but less than 73 inches
3) The Andromeda Galaxy.
So I gave up even expecting a clear, sharp image of this week's InExOb.
Instead, here's a cute & fuzzy shot of the Ob,
as presented by
the Vanna White of the Inexplicable,
Jessica the Godzilla Lip-Balm Lady
What is the InExOb?
It's the lobby card from a seriously whacked 1960 Mexican movie,
Saint Nick vs. Old Nick,
Santa Claus vs. Satan's claws.
You'd think a heavy hitter like the Prince of Darkness wouldn't be intimidated by a lard-assed jolly old elf threatening him with
"Ooooooh, I'll give you such a piiiinch!!!"
Santa's gonna be bummin' when he realizes that he grabbed the Glad tall kitchen trash bag, and left the bottomless bag of toys at the curb on garbage day.
This year, everyone gets used coffee filters!
This picture does answer a question that's puzzled theologians for centuries:
Satan, Boxers or Briefs?
And you thought he kept those lumps of coal for the bad kids' stockings.
Here Santa Thor, bloodthirsty Viking god of sugarplums,
hand-forges a pig-iron Furby.
Suuure, it's got Satan with his big erect tail lusting after a little girl.
How else could it win a Best Family Films Award?
Remember that it won the award in San Francisco,
where this movie probably played on a double-bill with Pink Flamingos.
Stop pissing off my canary with your damn kazoo playing!!"
Nostradamus says the World Will End in July, 1999!!
So, buy this BRA, and quick!!!
Objects from Previous Weeks
©1999 Bill Young