Week of 4/22/01:
Hey, guess what?
I live in a house full of weird crap!
...Or had you figured that out already?
So much crap that it can be categorized. Let's look at the pottery this week.
News Flash! I've outscooped the Weekly World News with this bombshell!
Chris Farley has been reincarnated as a cheerleader!
Lookin' good, Chris!
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll & Lycanthropy. I've included the wolfman to show that these little statues, all made by Napcoware in the 60s, were aimed at children. Note the glistening acid-burnout eyeballs on the guy. Kinda hard to imagine a toy today that Just Says Yes, isn't it? They should come out with a pro-drug Barbie, like Raver Skipper.
Fortunately, we have those Britney Spears dolls to promote early sexual experimentation.
My, but he's not a very happy guy. You'd be wearing that same facial expression too, if your head looked like this:
He's either a pencil holder, or the patron saint of trepanation.
On the other hand, this little guy's positively thrilled to have his brains scooped out and his eyeballs plucked. That makes him more unsettling than the pencil head.
I think he's an ashtray. The smoke would waft out of his mouth and eye sockets and a hole in the top of his head. Be careful what you're smoking before you stare too long at this guy.
This is what the bathrooms in Hell look like. There's always a long line, the seat's always cold, and the toilet paper is a square of your own flayed skin. But the worst part is that GUY leering down on you, making comments like "Hoo-weee! Guess that someone had seconds on the Hormel Tongue Jello last night!"
INEXPLICABLE LINK OF WEEK
I don't have one. Today is the third birthday of the InExOb, and I'm taking it to Chuck E. Cheese's!
Objects from Previous Weeks
©2001 Bill Young