INEXPLICABLE OBJECT OF THE WEEK

Week of 12/3/00:

WEEK 138

Vaguely Quadrupedal Lifeform Cookies

Actually, the package says "Animal Crackers," but I have my doubts.

You know what would be a good folksy saying? "Why, that boy's so dumb, he cain't tell a kitten from a camel!"

I'd walk a mile for a...whatever

So which is it? It has a camel's body, but a cat's head. Maybe it's a cat arching its back? But aren't animal crackers supposed to be lions and tigers and bears, rather than household pets?

Tabby and Tubby

Then again, these two really do look like cats. Two little kitties playin'! Two very, very obese little kitties. Like in the 60 to 70 pound range. Maybe they're not so much playing as trying to move their bloblike bodies across the floor to grab that last piece of Friskies Kibbles & Lard.

I'm kidding here, of course. They don't look like kitties, or any other animal seen on Earth.

Look, it's one of ...those.

Don't think that I'm grabbing crackers that were malformed in error. All the cookies look like these things

What is this one?
A bison? A razorback hog? A manatee? The Hunchback of Notre Dame, looking for a lost contact lens? If that hole is really an eye, it might be a whale fetus.

The Bakeshop of Dr Moreau

And what is with the holes? Are they supposed to be body orifices? Extra eyes or nostrils or blowholes? And why do so many of them have udders?

Here we see a donkey with the head of a rabbit, and a sheep with the head of a ball-peen hammer. Welcome to the Chernobyl Zoo!

WTF?!

Here they just gave up on the phylum Chordata and went with a jellyfish. Or an amoeba. Or a cloud. Or a stain on the bedsheets of a 14 year old boy.
Am I even holding this cracker the right way up?

Freud's mom baked these for him when he was a kid

Okay, maybe--maybe--this is an elephant.
But it's head looks like the thing that left that stain on the bedsheets.

Wait! I just figured out that amoeba thing! I was holding it the wrong way!

The year is 1985--

I will be your father figurehead

--and Ronald Reagan is about to french kiss George Michael!

(In case you're wondering--
I bought these at Big Lots. Maybe Jerry Van Dyke designed them)


INEXPLICABLE LINK OF THE WEEK

George W. Bush or Chimpanzee?

Thanks to Luna for the link


Objects from Previous Weeks

Objects from Previous Weeks



2000 Bill Young