Week of 4/30/00:
Leave It To Beaver
"Gosh, Mr Fireman! It sure was nice of that other fireman to let me wear his hat! But...Why was he tied & gagged? And why are we racing out of town?"
"EHH heh heh heh heh heh! Don't worry, Beaver. Soon you'll get to play with my great big hose!"
Okay, I hear you whining.
"Oh, right, so the fireman has a creepy look on his face. So you just throw some cheap sexual gag in there and that makes it inexplicable?
Oh, yeah? Maybe you need to read the book that the picture's from, "Leave It To Beaver, Authorized Edition based on the well-known television series"
by Cole Fannin, copyright 1962 by Gomalco, Inc,
handwritten frontispiece inscription "To Donna, from Santa".
From pages 22 to 25:
"Who're you?" [Beaver] demanded.
"I-I'm Kit Markley," the boy said. He was as tall as Beaver, looked to be about the same age but was thinner, with light-colored hair.
It sounded as though he was about to cry. "I don't like this place," he said. "I want to get out of here!"...
"Listen," he told the other boy, "you get down on your hands and knees. I'll stand on your back..."
"Why should I be the one to get down on my hands and knees?" Kit Markely demanded. "My folks own this place. I ought to have the right to stand on your back!"
"Well," Beaver said, looking him over, "I kind of think that maybe I can shinny better than you."
"You'll go off and leave me!" the boy said.
"Why would I want to do a thing like that? Doggone it, get down on your hands and knees!"
Kit Markely grumbled, but obeyed him. Beaver climbed on his back and reached as high as he could. "Straighten up a little," he directed.
He then managed...by squirming and twisting--
Okay, that's as far as I want to read this book. I'm afraid that I'll discover Beaver in a hot three-way with Whitey and Lumpy inside a giant coffee cup.
Rock Stars Do The Dumbest Things
Objects from Previous Weeks
©2000 Bill Young