1/12

The patient is home.
I had a nice saucer of 1% milk & a cat treat waiting for her, but KK ignored it in order to enter every room of the condo, twice. Why? No idea. Then she had her treats & decided she needed petting. She rolled over onto her back, which usually makes me go "Aww, that's so cuuute!" but instead made me go "Aww, that's so gross!" as I got the full view of her shaved & sutured belly with the red, swollen incision. She made a vague attempt at playing, the climbed the kitty condo & tanked out instantly. She's done very little but sleep since I came home, which is unheard of. She'd obviously been dead asleep when I picked her up at the vet. She prly handled the whole affair better than me; she doesn't even realize that a day has passed since she went.

1 thing I failed to mention about the Skank from Queens yesterday is that he seemed to believe that I *wasn't* going to call the cops. I doubt the New York police care about throwing some loser out of a store. When I worked for Sam Goody, if we in the 'burbs caught a shoplifter, we called the cops. The NYC Goodys had employees whose job was to drag shoplifters into the backroom, beat the living shit out of them with pipes, then throw them out the back door into the parking lot.
Maybe we should put a Now Hiring ad in the paper...

The roof repair job has become so endless that I think it's being done by Moebious Strip Roofing, Inc. This may be why: At lunchtime today a roofer came in to buy some shots & rolling papers ("I sat on my cigarettes"--yeah, right). sssss "Hey, man...*coff*...think we should fix this big hole we made?" sssss "No way, man, it's not gonna rain. And don't bogart them Cheetos, dude."

1/13

...And, unbelievably, the stoned & drunk roofers broke the same beer cooler compressor that they broke 3 weeks ago! So they'll be getting a third bill from us. I doubt that they'll be clearing a profit from this job.

The Winter That Almost Wasn't came with a vengeful wrath today. 6 inches of snow (the all-time record latest snow of the season ever), wind chill around 30 below (it was 62 degrees 10 days ago). Of course, the problem is neverd riving in the snow, but the other people driving in the snow...It's either some wanker with an SUV racing along at 65 (yeah, ALL 4 wheels are gonna lock up & skid when you hit the brakes), or some paranoiac doing 15 on the highway (if you think the weather's so bad you need to drive that slow--STAY HOME!). 1 of the beer drivers reported seeing a 720--ie, a double 360. "The guy waited on the side of the road a few minutes," he said, "prly to get his bearings. And change his shorts."

1/14

I asked the owner of the futon store a couple doors over if he's had any problems with the roofers. None whatsoever--well, except for when they took the cover off of his heating unit & started a gas leak.

My Private Reality Dept: "The Government made too many pennies 1 year, so they stopped making them. Then over the years, people lost them on the street & stuff, so there was a penny shortage. Then pennies were worth more than one cent, so the Government had to start making them again."

1/15

If there are ever any times when you need a SHAWT fix & I've posted nada (like right now), try customerssuck.com. It's huge & often hilarious. 1 of my faves: 15-yr-old kid goes into a 7-11 & asks for a pencil & paper. As the clerk (twice the kid's size) watches, he writes out a hold-up note! The clerk takes the note, throws the kid out & calls the cops, confident that it won't take too long to arrest him: not only is he on the surveillance tape, he's left both fingerprints & a handwriting sample. When the cops arrive, the manager of the store next door comes in & tells the clerk that before the attempted heist, the kid had filled out a job application there...

1/18

We're open 12 hours a day, but that's not enough for some people. Rare is the night that we don't have some knothead a-bangin' on the door a few minutes after the state-mandated legal closing time. Usually they try to cajole us into re-opening while pointing at their watch. Look, you're not risking jail time by having a slow watch, we are (1 mini-mart sold after 8PM 10 times & was fined $8,000 & shut down for 45 days--if that place re-opened, it was under a new owner). Some try to sweet-talk us, like the guy who stood out there screaming "FUCKING DICKS ! FUCKING DICKS!!" Yeah, like THAT'S gonna make us sorry we didn't serve you, or rush to open the door saying "We didn't know you knew the secret password! We didn't realize it was you, we thought it was a human being! The law says nothing about selling after 8 to chimps! So, Creme de Banana liqueur again, Bonzo?"

(duh)

1/21

*snort*
Well, that dangling "duh" is appropriate, as it's the only thing Geo saved from the 1/19 New. It wasn't much; I'll share it tmw if nothing more interesting happens.

I don't use my car horn. If I actually need to warn some idjit not to ram me, I'm usually too busy saving my life with the steering wheel to have the time to find the horn on it. I only use it--tap it, really--during the phenomenon of 1st Driver In Line At The Light Doesn't Notice It's Changed (other features of the phenomenon: Drivers who inch forward while the light's red are the most likely not to move when it's green; the 2nd Driver In Line who, instead of tapping the horn, waves his arms around in disgust, like a guy who isn't looking right in front of him is gonna pay attention to the rear-view). Most people use the horn the wrong way: "ME PISSED AT YOU!" Good way to get shot IMO, if indeed there is a *good* way to get shot.
Case in point: In the parking lot today a minivan started to back up, & another women reacted to this life-threatening 2MPH event by holding her horn down for a solid minute. The van stopped to let the woman go by, but she was to busy proving she was mad to the kids she had with her to move, so the van backed up. And up and up. Crunch. Out went the woman's headlight. It looked...less than accidental.

A pathetic drunk I've mentioned before left his watch here today. "Yeah, right!" sez me. "Like he needs a watch with his schedule: 'Regain consciousness, buy case of Natural Ice, lose consciousness'." I looked at the watch, which was all scratched up, & the time was frozen on "00:40." How he got the day to flash on both "Sun" & "Thurs" at the same time is a marvel best left to Quantum Mechanics & high-proof beer.

1/22

Nothing of real import happened today, so here's what little you missed on 1/19.
What's wrong with this picture? Guy tries to buy a 30 pack of Bud with his state welfare card (they work like credit cards now), which we don't take (duh). So he puts it on his Visa...

1/25

Okay, it's time for the Weekend Report, eh?

There it was! Hope ya liked it!
Yep. Did nothing, severely. Slept till noon Sun, then made my 1st attempt at cooking a turkey. Oh, uh, wait, aren't I supposed to--like, baste it or shit? Whoops. Let's see, I have mayonaisse, salsa, tequila...Maybe if every 10 minutes I pour a teacup of water on it...
Predictably, it came out dry & chewy. Unpredictably, I ate half of it anyway, & gave some to Kill Kill. We went into mutual L-tryptophan shock & slept for 3 hours, then stayed up till 5AM, THEN slept till 1PM...
So I didn't accomplish much. OK, nothing. Except play with my new Photoshop 5.5 a mite. You'll see the results in the next InExOb.
The utter lack of ambition may come from the semi-cold I'm getting. You know, 1 of those fakey colds that are mainly snot & a heated nasal passage. I feel like I could cook something up my nose. But it'd have to be small--maybe half a cocktail weenie, or a bean up each nostril. But who would eat them?

We didn't get winter until 2 weeks ago, but we've had 3 month's worth in that 2 weeks. The majority of the days had 30+ below windchills. But, hey, it's New England. We said "Boy, it's a lot warmer than yesterday!" when the windchill was around zero. Today we had 2 storms, 6 inches of snow in the morning, followed by a sleet storm still going on as I type this. Not that it stopped someone from braving the elements to bring back 20 cases of empties. Empties that had born-on dates going back to August. So, it was Priority Zero for 6 months, but at the list's top during a snowstorm??
6 months is not the record: At this time last year, I saw a geezer bringing a 24-pack of Bud empties in. Huh, haven't seen 1 of those in a while, I think--then notice the case has Olympic symbols on it. He's been hanging onto these since 1996? The $1.20 was too important to write off, but so unimportant that they stayed in his garage for 2&1/2 years?
I was wrong. When I had the case in my hands, I saw that it was from the '92 Olympics! They were collector's items at this point. He should've brought them back 7 years earlier & deposited the buck 20 in his savings account & at least earned interest.

Some time tonight there'll be a new static part of the site--Gordon Kennedy's SHAWTs from while working at Canadian Tire (or is it Tyre?). It's damn funny. Don't know exactly what the URL will be, but it'll be on the main page.

1/26

Someday I hope to unmask 3/30 Man. I only know him from the evidence he leaves behind: He re-arranges the beer cooler to buy the *3rd* 30-pack down in the stack. Not the 1st, not the fourth. And he leaves the 2 above on opposite sides of the stack he's buying from. I can't figure out who it is, as he buys a different brand of beer every time, & turns up only about once a month. I assume he buys a different brand at a different liquor store every time cuz he knows that the CIA/Grey Alien Mind Control Agents only implant the Cortex Warper Virus into the top 2 30 packs, but they'll infect the 3rd once they know what brand of beer he buys at which liquor store. Guess I should start looking more carefully at any customer wearing a tin foil hat.

1/27

For godknowswhat reason, people keep coming into the store without ID. Guess what: they leave as they came in, liquorless. Tonight it was a pair of weirdos. We didn't sell to his buddy, so the guy apologized. And apologized. "It's no big deal. No hard feelings. You guys got to cover yourselves. My friend, he's of age but doesn't have his ID. No hard feelings. You guys got to cover yourselves. My friend, he's of age but doesn't have his ID. No hard feelings. You guys got to cover yourselves. My friend, he's of age but..." Get the picture? No, you don't--it went on for more than 5 minutes, with only minor variations. Shelley kept inching away from the guy towards me...He really did have this low-key creepy vibe going on. Like how you always hear on the news "I never suspected that my neighbor was a serial killer! He was always quiet & kept to himself!" (Uh, what ELSE would he be? Bragging about the new rototiller he bought to dig the shallow graves? Knocking on your door to ask if could borrow a cup of human body parts for supper?) Of course, we were thrilled when he reappeared 10 minutes later to try to buy exactly what his buddy couldn't. We turned him down. "It's no big deal. No hard feelings. My friend, he's of age but doesn't have his ID..." Another 5 minutes of this. 15 minutes after that, we notice someone had a couple of grocery bags in the store..."It's no big deal. No hard feelings. My friend, he's of age but doesn't have his ID. I hope I didn't offend you by leaving my groceries here."
"YES YOU DID! I am so very offended by your can of the Dinty Moore Beef Stew! The Dinty Moore, he beated up my mommy once! I once ate some rye bread like yours, & I got a very painful seed of rye caught under my gumline! It felt hard!! And, yes, IT WAS A BIG FUCKIN' DEAL!!!"

1/28

AAAUUUGGHH!!! And GUESS WHO came in TODAY to apologize AGAIN!! And STILL said "It's no big deal. No hard feelings. My friend, he's of age but doesn't have his ID"!

The Scots & the Irish are said to be noted for their tempers, but I'm 50% of each & noted for not having 1. Well, I did before the 15 years in retail. As you've prly noticed, I deal with rude and/or stupid people at a much higher rate than the national average. If it affected me, I'd have burst an aorta by now. But about once a year, it gets to me. The Rude was on New Years Eve, when I screamed "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE!" to an asshole after he swore at & threatened me for not letting him cut in front of someone in a long line at the register. Today was the Stupid. 4 trash bags full of empties were brought in by "Gummo" (we call him that as he has zero teeth, & constantly licks his gums). Normally, we refuse empties in trash bags (would you shop in a store where you saw people bringing trash in the door?), but he's a regular & a nice guy, so I tell him to "empty the bags into the empty boxes in the back." He proceeds to dump a bag into a NOT empty box, but 1 of the 6 seperated-by-company bins. OK, there's no reason for him to know that we're just 1 stop on the way on the empties train, so as I pull his empties (stinkin' slimy empties, which is another reason we refuse trash bags) out & put them where belong, I *point* at the empty boxes "And there's more (*point*) over here." He goes out to get the last 2 bags, then drops them INTO THE SAME BINS. Now, I'm getting impatient. I've got enough work to do without putting it all on hold to get his damn empties out of the way. "Just tell Jake up front how many you have." Dammit, why do you think there's 6 bins back here if the cans all go to the same place? Does your kitchen have 6 trash cans & 6 refrigerators?? Then Jake comes back--"He says he has $42 in empties!" OK, now I'm MAD. There's no way he has 800 cans, there's no way I can count them when he's dumped half of them into the bins! "I'll count this bag, then multiply it by 4!" I say as I kick the damned bins & cans pop out the top. I'd really like to be kicking Gummo's teeth in, but it's too late, someone beat me to it. The estimate turns out to be roughly $21. Did he confuse the number of cans with the dollar amount? Think each of the 4 bags had $10 in them? Ahh, who cares. He's a nice guy & didn't argue, & my anger fades as instantly as it is rare. Especially after Jake said, "You gotta be forgiving of guys like that. The cold weather makes the plate in his head move."

New Feature! The LOOM (Loser Overshare Of the Moment)!
LOOM 1:
"I spent the night in jail. I passed out in the bathroom of the car wash (note: he's buying a pint of cheap vodka--I wonder why he passed out...) & when I woke up, the place was closed & locked. They got me for trespassing. Now I have to kiss ass with my wife, cuz I need to borrow some money."
(an hour passes; he returns)
"My wife won't pick me up. She's mad at me." Note: he's again buying a pint of cheap vodka--he tries to buy it by passing off Mexican centavos as quarters! Since the wife's locked him out, maybe he's hoping that he'll get to spend another night in jail, so he doesn't freeze to death...

L��K! � can d� �mlauts! Thanks Mike! (& Karl & Uncle Kevvy, who answered the question less directly)

1/30

This is, of course, yesterday in SHAWTland, as I wasn't here to post this on Saturday. I was at KMDS' little woodland villa watching "Death Lays An Egg," a truly stinky 1967 Italian movie that mixed romantic drama, murder plots, faked prostitute slashings, & weird 60s Italian editing with headless mutant chicken farming. Waaay less interesting than it sounds. Then, we dish-surfed for a while, making fun of MTV videos before we watched (unplanned, of course) all freakin' 5 minutes of the Tyson "fight." The 4 of us were rooting for the crazed rapist to get what little lights he owns knocked permanently out; instead he clobbered some fat old English slob right into the room below the canvas. Best part: the after-fight interview, when the weedy interviewer said "Better wipe your nose, Mike, you got something coming out of there." Biggest disappointment: Tyson doing just that, rather than cold-clocking the guy's head off. And what's with Tyson's tattoos? Che Guevera? MAO?! Maybe he told the tattoo artiste "Gimme wunna Mom!" but his Tweety-Bird voice was misinterpreted.

Random moments:
A woman refusing to buy an 18-pack of Coors because the expiration date was Sun. Wouldn't want to poison the Superbowl party!

Guy: (pulling a cold Heineken 12 out of the cooler) Do you have cold Heineken 12s?
Me: Yeah, right in your hand.
Guy: This isn't cold!
Yeah, well, let me spray some liquid nitrogen on it.

A much-despised (on my part) dumpster diver, leaving me 15 minutes worth of deposit can sorting on the very busy day before the Superbowl, then knocking a gallon jug of Chablis to the floor, giving me 20 minutes of mopping to do. She almost ran to the door to get out of paying for it, telling the cashier (as she collected her $4 for the returns) "I'm so embarrassed!" Yeah, so embarrassed by that, but not so embarrassed to dig in garbage cans for nickels.

YES! Independent Verification of LOOM #1! From the Hartford Courant of 1/29/00, the Police Report on page B3:
"East Hartford
A woman who opened up a carwash for the day Friday was surprised to find an uninvited guest who had spent the night sleeping inside, police said.
The man, Steven Bassett, 41, of 38 Columbus Street, had roamed around Mr Auto Wash the night before closing, apparently drunk [This must be a typo--it must mean "obviously"]. No one knew he was in the bathroom when the doors were locked for the night."
Best part: the Mr Auto Wash in East Hartford is really the MRS Auto Wash that was an InExOb of a coupla weeks ago! SYNCHRONICITY!!

2/1

3 girls, 1 with an out of state ID. Nice try. Girl 1: "It's not for them, it's all [3 pints!] for me!" "I can't sell to you cuz she was picking the liquor out." Girl 2: "I was picking it out for her to buy for herself!"

Kid outside the store who was trying to get people to buy for him: "I don't want to buy it, I was just wondering how much a fifth of Bacardi was!"

2/2

Not to much to report...A girl with a Louisiana state ID insisting that we serve her cuz "I come here all the time!" It's amazing how many "regular" customers without ID I meet for the 1st time every week, despite my working 2/3 of the store's open hours. And a regular who's 1 of those "Damn, but I'm a laff riot!" types who came in & yelled, "There's no one in the store, so I OWN IT!" Ha. Ha. Ha. There's nothing in your head, does that mean it's mine? I could stuff catnip in it & make a good cat toy.

In a weird synchronicity, today I was A) thinking of something that happened when I was a music manager at Lechmere during its days of Montgomery Ward ownership, B) walked into a card store where an ex-Lechmere employee turned out to be working (how come I can't find *real* Star Wars Valentines this year?! Just stinky Crapisode 1 Valentines! I NEED STAR WARS VALENTINES, DAMMIT!), & C) received some mail from Montgomery Ward (thanks for sending me the W2 for that severance pay check I'd completely forgotten about 2 days after I did my taxes, you Internationally Known Incompetent Fuckwads!). So here's my lil Monkey Ward memory.
My No. 2 guy, Tim, had a customer who wanted a price match on 2 CDs. Whenever a competitor had something at a lower price, we'd beat it by 10%. So Tim called Circuit City on the CDs.
TIM (getting off phone): They have these for $12.98.
SHAWT: Yeah.
TIM: We have them for $12.99!
SHAWT: Yeah.
TIM: You want me to price match a penny?
SHAWT: Yeah.
TIM (pulls nickel out of pocket): Here, you're covered for the next 3 you buy.

2/3

The synchronicity continues...I found out from the Oldies station that today is the anniversary of the plane crash that killed Buddy Holly et al, something that I was totally unaware of when I did this week's InExOb. Next week will prly turn out to be some important date in Danish ballroom dancing.
BTW, the Ob broke 100K in hits a coupla days ago. Someone at Eastern Illinois U was the winner of a fabulous, all expenses paid mention right here right now.

Some questions transcend the merely stupid...

SHAWT (to me while I'm on the phone): Are you on the phone?
No, I left my earmuffs at home. If only I had another receiver! My other ear's geting frostbite!

SHAWT: Do you have any more Piels Light cases?
ME: No, I ordered them but they sent us regular Piels instead. We'll have it in tmw. (I look down & notice that the last customer left his credit card on the counter; I run to the parking lot before he leaves)
SHAWT (as I race out the door): Are you checking to see if you have any out there?
Oh, yeah, I forgot about our Sidewalk Sale...

2/5

OWWW!!
Kill Kill loves to play Thumb Wrestle, wherein she wrestles all the meat off of my thumb. I wrapped a plastic bag around my hand & got a huge cut right over the wrist bone. So I slipped my hand into a padded mailing envelope. In exactly the time it took me to think "I prly don't need the plastic bag still" she'd bit through the envelope, through the bag, & through my thumb, drawing blood. I need to but Kevlar gloves if we're gonna continue to play this game.

Well, that's all I have. If you're on my Legends of Rock spam list Of Goofy Websites, you already saw Bibleman. If not, go take a look, & don't miss the video clips with the lightsaber (!) duels. I prefer the early costume, which looks like it was designed by Giorgio of McDonalds, over the "I'm Christian Fundie Batman & behold my heroic nipples" one. Luthurian had this reaction:

The costume reminds me dead-on of "Night Man".
That horrible B-grade (maybe less) show..I think it's on Fox. 

I wonder if Bible Man's arch enemies use nail guns?

HELLO KITTY CAT BED!!!
Umm, sorry. Just a bit overexcited over the highlight of the weekend. I went to the local junk store chain, Ocean State Job Lot, & found an honest-to-Sanrio Hello Kitty cat bed. I've felt that a cat bed would be ignored by Kill Kill, who sleeps any damn place--under the Lay-Z-Boy, by the stereo, in the desk drawer by the Pookie when she was teeny, on the highest part of the cat condo, in Xmas gift boxes thrown on the kitchen floor, and, of course, in the bathroom sink. On the other, her fascination with gift boxes made me take the gamble that she'd like a kitty bed. I was wrong--She loves it. The gift boxes were for sitting Sphinx-like & all-knowing in; she deep-sleeps purrfully in this. Maybe Mommy Cat had 1 when KK was a nipple-suckler? If you haven't had your fill yet of damn cute cat pics, here's KK on her HELLO KITTY CAT BED!!!
Ha! It rocks! I had to dig through the pile to find 1 that had "Hello Kitty" in big letters AND the howling monkey-boy playing baseball while screaming in Japanese on it (he's visible over KK's butt-- well, he's only a howling monkey-boy if the gaping red orifice is his mouth. It could be his nose, making him a silent Snoopy-head-boy). There's a trio of Keropopoppies on it; 1 with closed eyes holding a camera (not gonna get very many good photos that way, Froggy), another wide-eyed 1 vaguely waving a green flag ("Hoo. Ray."), & 1 wearing boxers & winking salaciously (yyyeah! Chicks dig frogs!) The red, white & black things are cat toys; the scraps of white were Kleenex before KK got to them. Note that you can still see her shaved belly from the spaying.
I should've bought 2. Wicker isn't very claw-resistant.

I mainly bought junk food. Which is odd, as I eat only 1 meal a day, & BAD, as everytime I go there my daily meal consists of the hideous crap I buy. Some of it isn't that hideous, like the Bumble Bee tuna ("The favorite tuna of insects!"). It blows even 3 Diamonds away in the Fishy Goodness Contest, & gets points for being "available for a limited time!" Yep, collectible tuna, eBay wave of the future. On the hideous side, I saw a tiny jar of Hormel Dried Beef ("ground, formed & sliced") & not only bought it, but ATE all 2&1/2 oz of it. Well, I've had my USRDA of pure salt for the next 20 years. The label shows the beef wrapped in tortillas with cream cheese sitting on a plate with a mutatedly large sprig of parsley--so, of course, it's clearly labeled "Suggested Serving," in case some idjit demands to know why the tiny jar didn't include the clearly advertised plate. AMERICA: Preserving the rights of Morons since we invented the Lawyer!

Speaking of the rights of morons: Nazi-scum Klan-bastard now-Republican David Duke has founded the National Organization for European American Rights. Yes, it spells NO FEAR. Ya know, thinking of the redneck halfwit vehicles I've seen THAT slogan on, it kinda makes sense. I assume that his group's symbol will be Calvin pissing on something...You & me, prly. Was the Nat'l Org Banning Rational And Intelligent Nondiscrimination already taken? Makes a better acronym, I think.

Oh yeah. I also bought at the SalvArmy a 1962 Leave It To Beaver book. For $1. I hated that show as a kid (DROWN in the giant coffee cup, Beav, DROWN!) but it has an InEx quality to the cover...Mr Fireman looks a little TOO friendly...

OK. So every month I search el Webbo Grande for "thoughtviper." Is that so vain? It generally turns up the usual list of suspects, but occasionally there's such like a maddeningly missing Kitty rant that I get 2 sentences from, or I find out that I'm maybe/maybe not an anarchist, or, like tonight, a fellow retail drone ranting amusingly.
Hey, a New of piics & links galore! So go leave me alone!

2/9

Kill Kill can FETCH!
I knew that there are cats that can do that, but I didn't realize I had 1. I can't say I taught her it either; I just shot a ponytailer like a rubber band, she chased it, brought it back in her mouth & dropped it in front of me. Over & over. Amazing little cat, that KK.

A woman came in in her winter coat, pajamas & slippers. "I have to pick my daughter up," she said to no question asked & bought a coupla 40s of malt liquor.

A beautiful blonde babe came in. Sometimes "beautiful" & "blonde" equals another word that begins with "B." Shelley asked her for ID & she immediately became pissed, despite the license saying she was only months legal. It was an out of state ID (those are the fake 1s), & she got even more indigant when she was aked for a 2nd form of ID, which she didn't have. "Do you want to see my car registration?" she snapped in a tone of No, You Don't. She left to get it for almost 5 minutes, then came in for her keys (how was she trying to get into her car without them for so long?), then came back with the reg, which *of course* she slammed down on the counter. As Shelley pulls out the Big Book of IDs & she says, quite nastily, "It's a fake!" which is humor along the lines of snarling "Yeah, my carry-on luggage is a bomb" at the airport metal detector. I've officially reached my level of tolerance, but I wait cuz I know what's next: She wants to pay with her BOYFRIEND'S credit card & a NOTE she claims is from him. And she's outraged that we won't take it! "SINCE WHEN?!" "Since every store in the world won't take it," say I. Again the Nasty Voice: "Do you want to match the signature on the note to the card? [No, but DUH, isn't that the FUCKIN POINT OF THE NOTE?] Do you want to call my boyfriend at work??" Yeah, gimme the burger flipper at McDonald's who's stupid enough to up with She-Ra, PMS of Power. "No, I just want you to leave." I say as I take her purchase away. "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" she yells, so that I feel really really bad over losing such a fine customer...

LOOM #2: "...I'm so proud of my son. He's getting out 2 years early for Good Behaviour. He's gonna get a job, & I told him 'You just get that high school G.U.D.'!"
Shelley: "Yes! A diploma is gud!!"

2/10

Only in Texas: A list of Death Row inmate's final meals. "1 flour tortilla & a cup of water"? I guess that I wouldn't be that hungry, either.

I'm thinking of making this an interactive InEx Link, but let's testdrive the idea here. SHAWT readers from CA to FL, put your last meal thoughts in La Guestbooko Italiano! (bottom of page; no need to ID yourself if you don't want--"invio" is "enter")

New16 tmw.