Yada yada yada yada y--Oh, wait, I said that already.

"I wanted to replace humanity with a race of mindless zombie robots, but then I realized that someone beat me to it."--Bill Young


Ahh, so you noticed that there wasn't a SHAWT yesterday, huh? Well, you may also have noticed that there was a " in place of a =, which ruined the Kill Kill Goes Coupon Clipping joke. Here it is. And here's a bunch of stuff from the last 24 hours, listed chronologically, to make up for it.

Free Advice: If you come across a new product from Birdseye called Chicken Voila! DON'T BUY IT! IT IS EVIL FOOD, EVIL!! I got it on sale with a triple coupon so it cost me $1.24, but that's no bargain when half of it goes into the garbage disposal. It was nasss-teee. The name should be "Chicken Vile!" Kill Kill ate a bit of it, but I've found chewed ponytail holders in her poop, so she's not the most discerning of palates. Remember: Chicken Voila!=BAD.
I was in the midst of both a chat with Kitsplut & htmling something when I got disconnected. After 10 minutes I thought, the server's down. But I'm enough of a pathetic web junkie that I sat here for another hour trying to connect. The new page is done; it's on the Space Ghost part of the site, but even if you have no interest in SG you should know about the Hot Dog Men.
Woke up this morning feeling muy crappy--almost hangover-like. I back-tracked through my mind to try to think what was causing it. I made it to a thought that gave me an involuntary gag reflex: Chicken Violent! was the culprit. Remember: Just Say No To Chicken Voila!
I perked up a bit on the drive to work. A very ancient man was driving a car with a very generic looking bumper sticker. The purpose of bumper stickers is to provide some mass-produced wit or a political viewpoint. This didn't seem to fit either category: "God Bless John Wayne." Huh? Wayne's lunch for Larvets now; the sticker isn't going to do him any good. It couldn't've been directed at me, or it would've said "Bill Bless" (which wouldn't happen anyway--As the old MDC song goes, "John Wayne was a Nazi") . So it must've been directed at God. This is the highway that leads to Hartford, where the local nutty-nuts have decided that the Virgin Mary appears in a tree there (man, Heaven must be dull if you feel the need to manifest in any tree, let alone 1 in the dullest city in America). Maybe he was hoping to catch the eye of Jesus as he drove the Blessed Virgin to her day job.
JESUS H: Gosh, Mom, look at that car! Maybe we should ask Dad to let Mr Wayne out of Hell! Satan serves Chicken Voila! 3 times a day!
MARY: Perhaps we could get some children to write letters to Him--JESUS FUCKIN' YOU! You almost hit that car!
JESUS: Aww, Mom, you can't see anything past this Saint Christopher on the dashboard!
ST CHRIS: You know, kiddo, you're supposed to put a statue of me here, not ME!
This would be hilarious if I'd had the digicam, but I'll have to describe it: a geezer couple, both white-haired, both sporting the same bowl cut hairstyle, both with a fistful of hair sticking straight up from the center of their scalps. Like Cindy Lou Who from the Grinch at age 90.
Another old lady asked if we had Thunderbird because she "likes to cook with it." THERE'S a gourmet meal I'll pass on. That shit's like Welch grape jelly & grain alcohol run through a blender. Prly be the next Chicken Voila! flavor. Maybe they'll mix it with malt liquor--Chicken a la King Cobra.
A delivery driver I know called me aside after dropping off some wine. "Check this out," he said as he took something carefully wrapped in tissue, "I shouldn't be taking this out of its glassine envelope [I hope it's not his crack, thinks me], but I'm bringing these in to get certificates of authenticity." 3 silver dollar sized coins: a 100 year old Italian 1 that may be gold, a copper 1 from when CT had its own monetary system in 1789, & a mint condition 1854 $20 gold piece. "How much do you think it's worth?" ME: "A lot." "$32,000." That prly breaks the record for all-time value of pocket change. You could do 16,000 loads of laundry with that, enough to get the stubbornest Chicken Voila! vomit stain out.
BTW, have you glanced at the top of your screen & noticed that this page has a title?


Got a new flyer from Pizza Time--They now have 3 Chicken Time pizzas. But only 2 of them specify that the toppings are "boneless chicken"! Surprisingly, the 3rd 1 is not named Heimleich Time. They also sell "Pieces of Chicken Wings." Hey, for $5 I want more than pieces! Knowing them, this is their way of reassuring you that they take the feathers off.

A guy wanted to know where the 40 ounce beers were, but called them "Forty-Ohs." NEW from Kelloggs! Forty-Ohs, the only cereal that turns your milk into malt liquor! Now with pink elephant shaped marshmallows! Free shot of Yukon Jack in every box! "Silly rabbit, Forty-Ohs are for pathetic drunken losers!" "I'm having the DTs for Forty-Ohs, the DTs for Forty-Ohs!" "Let's give some to Mikey!" "Yeah, he's as sober as a judge!" "Hey! He likes it! He's starting fights & hitting on ugly women! Hey Mikey!"



Want to get the Beatles Yellow Submarine video for $4.25? Go here. Remember that cookbook I got, the 1 that mixed Jello with tongues? I had the odd feeling that I'd seen it before, & I had. It's here, & funnier than anything I have to report tonight.


Oh, noooo, it's not a "Pop Up"! It's an "Ad Box"!
Geoshitties. Ain't it grand. That damn thing in the corner is going to get the same click-thru rate the old pop-ups got--NONE. They get closed, not read.

A woman came up to the register clutching a bag. "We had a party & had too much left over; I want to exchange it." I expected the bag would hold a couple bottles of wine--No, 3 12-oz. bottles of Bud. I'll bet she'd just come back from returning that half a pizza to Dominos.
$2 of Bud isn't the classic, of course--When I was managing Kay Bee Toys a woman said she'd over-estimated how many grab bag items she'd need, & returned 2 4-for-a-$1 coloring books. She needed that 50 cents back, and NOW. She must've borrowed a quarter from a loan shark. And here's a few other memories of that least enjoyable of retail experiences, The Return...
At Lechmere, I had a couple with 2 young daughters return a CD. "It skips" said Mom. The reason is ALWAYS fingerprints, which can be wiped off with your shirt sleeve. "This is why it skips," I said as I held it up. Yep, fingerprints. Fingerprints covered in jelly with human hairs hanging off them. The daughters exchanged nervous glances. Mom said, "It was like that when we bought it."
At Kay Bee, a woman & a little girl were returning Jem dolls. "8.99 each," I said, on to the scam. "They're on clearance here." She insisted "I didn't buy them on clearance!" "No, you didn't," I said as I turned the boxes over & pointed at the orange price stickers. "You bought them at Toys R Us." The woman snapped at her bewildered grandchild, "I told you to scrape those stickers off!"
Note the moral of the above stories is...There is no morality. 2 women teaching their girls to lie & cheat for personal gain. Lessons they'll prly learn in full when they're teenagers, & money starts disappearing from Mommy's pocketbook.
A guy at Lechmere is arguing endlessly over a TV he wants to return after the 60-day return period--A full year & a half after the 60 day return period. "NORDSTROMS said they'd take it back & give me cash no matter why I wanted to return it!" (His reason--Newer TVs had more features, & he wanted his money back so he could buy a new 1 somewhere else) This went on for an hour & a half, always with NORDSTROMS! promise to take it back as the sole reason that we, the not-Nordstroms, should. Finally, my boss asked him, "So, why didn't you just buy it at Nordstroms?" "Are you kidding?! They wanted $150 more for it!!"

Hey, I almost ended there...That was work stuff. It's been a looong day. It's currently 1AM here & my day started at 7AM yesterday. I'm not so much tired as having a mind-spin still from seeing Chinese Ghost Story, another movie I scream for you to see that you prly won't find anywhere. If I was Spotti writing this, the review given would cause you to jump the nearest jet to Hartford to see it...But I am no Spottiswoode. Bill think movie am good. Umm. All I can fall on are trite statements like "Non stop thrill ride" (usually used for hideously submoronic crap like "Independence Day" or "Armageddon") or "a feast for the eyes" (usually used for movies that have special effects that serve no purpose). Well--it was damn good, every second of it, without any mean-spiritedness, overused situations or just plain dumbocity. Oh, yeah--it's a cartoon. You go see, you go see now!
But let's not forget that stupidity surrounds us. On the way to work I watched a car accident unfold about 20 feet from my windshield. 2 cars trying to take the same left onto the highway, except the car that caused it was in the RIGHT LANE. Yeah, I always get in the right lane to take a left, but then again I take showers by frolicking in the dumpster.
After work, with 15 minutes to kill before I met KMDS at Chinese Ghost Story, I went to get Kill Kill's kitten condo. I figured that 15 minutes was enough to buy the thing, then ram it's 5'6" 50-lbs girth into my not-big car. But there was 1 register going, 6 people in line with 5 more walking towards it...Not today. So I w w w went...w w went...t to
There, I said it. I HATE THAT FUCKING PLACE. Hellmart. Every other store in the world you can say, "Ah, I see the pet dept over there." At Mall-Wart, you see the next 10-foot high wall. Itza FUCKING ANT FARM. Trying to kill time before leaving, I wandered into their truly pathetic audio/computer/camera/oil filters & sundries section. KID: Do you have R Kelly's newest CD? DUDE (obviously, someone decided to put him in this part of the store cuz he had a stupid trendy hairstyle & piercings): Uhhhhhhhhhhh....If we had it....It'd be with the CDs.


Got a new flyer from Pizza Police ("You'll get your pizza in 30 minutes or less or you'll serve 30 days or more!"). Their newest offer is named "Breach of Pizza!" GEDDIT?! Try it with a side of "Assault & Buttery Garlic Bread"! Or "First Degree Manicottislaughter"!
Stop groaning. No one makes you read this page but you.

2 girls, 1 has ID, 1 doesn't. The girl without goes to her car grumbling about having to show it, although her friend has only been legal for a whole 5 months. She doesn't have it. "Can't you call the other store?" Pause. I'm confused...I thought she'd say "...& tell them [name] is here." No, they don't know her by name. So...I supposed to ask if anyone knows "a girl who's blonde"? HER: Ask for Mark, he knows me. ME: No one named Mark works there.
Note to underage buyers: It helps to have better references than your invisible friends.


LOOK: I said that there'd be nothing here if I had nothing to say!! GET USED TO IT! Nothing happened, so, what, I should just type away until you GET THE MESSAGE?! Well, I'm DOING IT NOW!! GO AWAY! You never loved me anyway! You were just using me! Something to read while your boss wasn't in your cubicle! *sob* That's all I ever was to you! A few wasted seconds!! All for you I work--I slave--I masturbate--over a hot keyboard and all the thanks I get is
Scratch that bit after the last "I."
Stop looking at me with those puppy-dog eyes! Jeez, now I feel bad over starting this whole thing. Umm...A guy asked Rudy if we carried Johnnie Walker Blue. No, just J. Walker Red & Black (black & blue & blood red...Johnnie Walker, Official MAN'S Booze for the new release Fight Club!). He calls the main store--yeah, it exists. Do you want a bottle?
It goes for $165.
OK, I occasionally drink Chartreuse, which goes for only $30 a quart. But $165...Man, after drinking that, I'd be in the bathroom thinking "Maybe I should save this piss..?"
Oh, are you so so glad you came here now?? Are you, ungrateful wretches???
Time to masturbate.
SLAVE! Time to slave!! Slaving now, slaving...


Another day when you SHAWTists came perilously close to reading nothing. BUT...you lucked out.

Jessie Baby & I are great friends, which is odd given what little we have in common. Take our musical tastes. Right now, I'm listening to my new CD: a collaboration between some Russian electronists & my personal God, Brian Eno (limited to 2000 copies on the German FAX label). Jess wants to send the InExOb to her favorite radio station's "Hot Site of the Week."

[email excerpt:
>hey there sexy whatcha wearin :*
I'm wearin' a big mouse suit so's KK will nibble on me! It's kinky good fun!]

I'd rather clean my ears with flaming Qtips than listen to her station. Take a look at their site, in particular the disclaimer at the bottom. C'mon, go read it, I can wait.

Doesn't it strike you as a little...out of place? "...Cause, whoa boy, we sure don't want it, no way Jose not us! That's why we mention it so out-of-the-blue! Send us some so's we can judge just how bad it is." I'd never do anything like that.

Are any criminals in your neighborhood dealing primo weed--I mean, Bad Drugs? Inform your local Drug Enforcement Agent today!


This is me if I became unemployed.Looks a bit like me, too.

What's with these Stupid Humans?! They're being stupid instead of funny-stupid!
Oh well. There's always the Speak Out! feature in the Reminder. It's like a BB for knotheads. 1 thread is about a guy complaining that he doesn't get good enough benefits because he served in the Army during peacetime (thread title: "Bennies & the Vets"). The Inevitable "I fought the NAZIS fer you punks!" Geezer pipes up: "How can you possibly think you are deserving of 'handouts' when you never put your life on the line for your country?...I am a veteran of the Big One, and I have no legs from being run over by a mule cart. I wouldn't change a thing, because I gave my legs fighting for our great country."
Well, it sure would suck being in a wheelchair for almost 60 years (believe me, I've thought about it--I had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis as a kid & almost ended up being in 1 from age 2 on). But--"fighting for our country"? It's hard to picture the tide of Axis tyranny being turned by a guy being run over by a mule cart. I mean, he was fighting this mule? Was it some really fierce Nazi mule? The dreaded Waffen-SS officer, Baron von Donkey?


KNEW it. I didn't take the old Geoguide off of any but the pages I normally edit cuz I knew Yahoo'd get yelled at over the Not-A-Pop-Up. So, back to the discreet ad waaay at the bottom of the page.
What pages did I take it off of again...?

HER: I want a really cheap wine that tastes awful.
Well, there's a question I haven't been asked before. Something about it being a "witch's potion" to hand out at Halloween. I said, "If it tasted awful, we wouldn't carry it, cuz no one would buy it." (note: I never *really* say "cuz," "prly" or "&"--I just use that to shave bytes off these files. English major, don't you know; we don't do that) I gave her Boone's Farm. It's sickly sweet rather than awful, although the label says "Drink Very Cold" (WARNING: Do not allow this product to touch a tongue in an un-numbed state!)
But why would you think there'd be an actual perceived consumer market for wine that tastes awful? I'd be like starting a car company that builds sedans with square wheels. The Friendly's I drive by on the way to work has a sign that says "Try Our Delicious New Burgers," not "Just Try Not To Gag on Our Cold, Nasty, Moldy Burgers Made From Floor-Sweepings & Left-Over Chicken Voila!" Advertising that wine as "Good for Witch's Potions" wouldn't increase sales much.
Actually, a car with square wheels might be a good idea. You'd never have to replace the brakes.


A woman asked me today if we sell money orders. I should go to the bank & ask them what beer they have on tap. We're always getting asked if we cash payroll checks, but this was a new 1. If we were going to get into a business like that, in our neighborhood we'd be better off offering bail bonds.

Latest dumb radio ad: Metlife assuring us that they use "real, honest-to-goodness people." If an insurance company ever said that they employ only synthetic killer androids, man, I'd switch agents in a flash. The irony of this ad is that it's narrated by Lucy from "Peanuts," who doesn't qualify as a real person in my book. My killer android agent would kick their cartoon beagle's anthropomorphic ass.

Latest dumb product line: I gave up buying the 8-lb box of kitty litter & got the 20-lb box Of Arm & Hammer. It says "Safe to use around pets." Well, one would hope. Good thing I passed on Tub of Caustic Lye brand litter.


The radio station at work is having a guess-the-sound contest. The sounds are very simple. But of course, so are some people.
Sound: Coyote howling. Listener guess: Thunder.
Sound: Door creaking. Guess: A hammer.


I heard an interesting statistic on the radio this morning: A state official said that, of deadbeat parents who owe child support, "95% of them are fathers. 5% are mothers." Hmm...Lemme get out my calculator...Makes sense! But I wonder what percentage are female?

I was doing about 50 when I heard a gentle flapping, something rapping at my windshield wiper...it was
Bwa ha ha ha! Scared you, didn't I! Happy Halloween!
No, it was a flyer someone had stuck there, but on the passenger side, so I didn't see it until I was airborne. It valiantly held on, even at 75-80 MPH. I plucked it off when I got home--it's from JESUS!!
No, really! He signed his name at the bottom! (Well, He typed it. What that autograph would be worth, huh?) It starts (note: all following quotes sic): "For God so loved the world that he gave (me) his only son, so that everyone who believes in (me) him will not perish but have eternal life. [Man! I guess Jesus is the Me-ssiah] God did not send (me) his son into the world to condem it..." Hmm. God did not give (you) him a spellcheck. I assume it's "condemn," though if Jesus is a Catholic it might be "did not send (me) his son into the world to condom it, but to use the sacred & oh-so effective Rhythym Method." It ends with "Just call out my name, read my word, the Bible to draw strength. I love you; Jesus.
Vist; CHURCH OF THE LIVING GOD [SEE? It really IS Him!! He's living right in town!]...past BUCKLAND HILLS MALL, down hill, past Christmas Tree Shop, across from Uno's." I'll bet he even works at the Christmas Tree Shop! Talk about your perfect job! Think of the perfect manger scenes he'd make! "No, ma'am, the sheep go to the left, the cow to the right. Yes, the aardvarks & penguins were there. This is why we no longer speak of Gummo, the Fourth Wise Man. He's the 1 bringing the gift of a trash bag full of deposit cans."
And He Himself left it under my windshield wiper! I never thought I'd be Touched by an Angel!
Though I got close that time I was Fondled by a Priest.


Well, I hope you enjoyed that last bit. Now you can save time by not reading the next InExOb, as you already have. I had 1 for tomorrow, but after that all that's in the queue are the 2 emergency backups. So why waste the Miracle of the Windshield?

Crazy busy at work, which adds up to no time to observe the wacky SHAWTs. KMDS had asked me to go to his Halloween party, but I didn't want to go alone, so I asked Jess if she wanted to go, but she'd already been asked by some friends, but that was a while ago so maybe she could, but it looked like she couldn't, but then the couple throwing her party got into a fistfight, so a few hours before KMDS' we decided to go to his, and whew, that was a long sentence. We had a good time, even if we weren't there long (you work our schedules for a week & we'll see how much energy you have). Scott's doing a web page, which you'll see a link to here when it's up--He's a guy who only just got a computer, but who've I've said for years would have a fascinating site if he ever made 1. Todd came in a hand made costume that just made you go Hi De Hi! Jess went as a gangster, I went as this year's most popular costume, a Communist. Look here, why doncha. Or here, even. I compiled mine from crap in my house, which should give you an idea what type of house I live in...Of course, I had a schtick to go with it: "And what is the well-dressed Communist agitator wearing this season? Chapeau by Fidel Of Havana. Red shirt that buttons from the Left, & note the handy hip pocket to carry your copy of Chairman Mao's Little Red Book. And to prove I'm communist, (reaches into pocket & pulls out stale dinner roll) I stood in line 6 hours to buy this loaf of bread!" SCOTT: "Did you get toilet paper, too?" ME: "Yeah, 3 sheets. They have to last me all month." I also brought a CD (Communist Disc): a Red Chinese revolutionary ballet, Taking Tiger Mountain By Strategy. "Don't we all remember the 1st time we turned on the radio & heard that song 'We Will Wipe Out the Reactionaries'? Or that time at the Senior Prom at the Young Communist League, when we slow danced to 'Willing to Shed Hot Blood to Make History'?"


About those Halloween pics...I'd just like to say that it was just the way the photo came out; my face isn't normally borscht-red. If it was, I would've just put on a pair of red mittens & gone as Lobster Boy.

"That comes to $18.01."

"Thank you."

"Have a nice day!"

My, but people were agreeable today. It reminded me of my JCPenney days, when the 1st thing we had to ask people was "Cash, check or charge?"
Well, thanks for ruling out the barter system. Good thing, too; I don't think I have change for 3 chickens & a bucket of goat's milk.


2 young women are giggling over the names of some of the wine coolers we have near the register as impulse buys.
Giggly Girl 1: "Cactus Kicker"...It's got cactus in it, tee hee!
GG2: I'll kick your cactus in a minute if you don't watch out!
GG1: Look at this 1..."Bushwacker."
ME (to GG2): I wouldn't touch that 1 if I were you!


As far as me making any progress against my backlog of work, I felt like a salmon swimming upstream through a river of Jello. Yesterday was the day the State/Social Security checks went out, so there was a veritable scab-o-rama of Bukoff pints being bought with $100 bills. 1 regular was in at 915AM buying a 6 of Natural Ice, the beer version of Bukoff. He told me that for the price of a 6, 25 years ago he could get a case. Then he became lost in a Prousitan reverie of his salad days, when he'd buy at age 17. "Sometimes I'd walk in & the owner would shake his head--no beer today. But then I'd go in with money from my friends & buy 3 cases of this, 4 cases of that...He really did me a favor!" He was really describing this in the tone of My Favorite Year. 4 hours later he bought a 12 pack of Natty Ice. 4 hours after THAT he bought another 12, along with a pint of Yukon Jack. Toni, who rang him up, was shocked--"He didn't seem drunk!" Not with his tolerance, no.
Yeah, that guy did you a favor. Introduced you to a life of pathetic alcoholism. Now you're in your late 40s, living in a shitty neighborhood on Government support, with no car & no job except the day or 2 a month you get at the temp agency when you're short of booze money. Yeah. Real big favor. Fucking saint, that guy.
What, this isn't funny?
It isn't meant to be.


...And that same loser walked into the store today & said "Wow! 1 o'clock?! Already?! I didn't know it was so late!" Yeah, time flies when you're lying in a pool of your own filth. Put over 2 cases of beer & a pint of 100-proof in most people, & they won't sleep late, they'll die. The way he was shuffling & squinting made it pretty clear he had moved to Hangover Town. So why was he in a liquor store? For a 12 pack & a pint of 100-proof...Hair of the dog that bit him, as they say. Sure-fire cure if you don't mind the side effect of a rotted liver.

Well...still not funny. Too bad, too, as this is the last you'll hear from me for a bit. VACATION!! Not a big 1, but 4 days of no SHAWTs. I may or may not put something up in the meantime, as there's the potential of Interesting Stuff happening. Tomorrow Jessica & I take her daughter to a matinee of Yellow Submarine. That sure warped the brains of me & Kitty as young'uns, so it's lil Jacqueline's turn. On the other hand, her favorite flick is Hairspray. How much warping can you do to a 4-year-old who's been fed a diet of John Waters? Sunday I'm back in Putnam, antiquing & InExOb hunting. Monday I finally buy the long-delayed kitty condo, a big-ass 5&1/2 footer, which will either be the Malibu Kill Kill Dream House or the launching pad for Operation: Claw Bill's Face & Head Off Storm. Tuesday, the Steve Roach concert in Hartford with the inestimable Spottiswoode, up from Joisey on the exact same day that last year we went to a concert at the exact same place. Oh, & at some point I hope to do my laundry. Pretty full plate. And fortunately, not full of Chicken Voila.


Well, I'm back.
And what do I have to share with you?
Yes, really. I certainly enjoyed my 4 days off, from both work & THIS thing, but nothing notable happened.
Jess & JJ & I went to Yellow Submarine Saturday. Jess, being Jess, arrived 10 minutes late. But me being me had cleverly asked her to appear 10 minutes earlier than she needed to, ha ha! How was *I* to know that there'd be highway construction on a Sat afternoon? And only 100 feet from our exit. So I navigated through Hartford, despite a lack of direction that's only rivalled by Jessica's. We were 10 minutes late. Lil Jacqueline found nothing of worth in the movie. It's not like she watched it for 10 minutes then started fidgeting; she immediately started fidgeting & barely even looked at it. Jess enjoyed it, though, which didn't surprise me in that her own trippy artwork resembled the movie. It's certainly an entertaining movie, though Lucy in the Skies With Diamonds & Northern Song could've been cut with no effect on the story (unless...you were on...ACID!!! which purty much seemed to be the whole point of the thing anyway). JJ konked into unconsciousness 5 minutes out of the parking lot, so it seems she was just tired (& I got to hear Mommy coo "Isn't she so cuuuute?" the rest of the way back. Well, yes, but she's no Kill Kill).
Sunday i went up to Putnam. Found me a definite InExOb, a very possible 1 ("You ALL know Lydia E. Pinkham!"--have truer words e'er been spoke?), & a rubber Nixon mask. I put it on & it was muy tortuous. KK was bizarrely fascinated by it, chasing it when it came off my face & onto the Petster Godzilla sitting on LP Mountain.
Monday I got the kitty condo. KK loooves it, THANK GOURD. $127 of 5'8", 60 lbs kitten toy that I had to drag up 3 flights of stairs. It didn't even fit in my car. Luckily, I live only 2 miles from the pet store, so the owner drove it over for me. She sleeps on the 2nd highest part of it, a good 5 feet up. TOP O' THE WORLD, MA!
Tues Spotti came up, & we went to see Being John Malkovich, a movie I heartily recommend. And for once, you may actually get to see it! CT is part of the limited theater engagement, but it'll be heading nationwide next. It's quite weird, but so totally grounded in it's weirdness that it's perfectly logical. It's also the InEx Link site of a while back (the magic sausage slide into someone else's brain), which is pretty much the plot: Guy finds a door that leads into actor John Malkovich's brain. Accept that idea, & all else flows perfectly. Truly fun, & truly original.

Oops! Outta space again. Only funny thing: Sewwhatmel@aol sent this astonishing likeness of KK, enjoying HER vacation.

New13 debuts tmw.